


In the End

by CharMarStein



Series: Never Agian [8]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cutting, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide, Triggers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-12
Updated: 2014-11-12
Packaged: 2018-02-25 04:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2608262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharMarStein/pseuds/CharMarStein
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn couldn't believe it, there was no way this was happening to him. Everything had been going so good.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the End

**Author's Note:**

> This is the last one, thank you to those who have read since the beginning. Thank you to those who have read any of them at all! Comments and Kudos as always. Again thanks for reading!

When they got to the hospital everything was fast voices and rushed hand gestures. Zayn didn't know what was happening and wished the other boys would just hurry up and get there because he was not deal with it well by himself. The doctors had tried to kick him out of the room so they could get closer to Niall but after one got punched in the face they said he could stay as long as he wasn't in the way. 

He sat watching them work on the love of his life, frantically trying to sew him back together again. He was just so lost. He thought Niall was doing better. They had been so happy when they drove to the beach and spent the night under the stars. They had the perfect day when they went to the zoo and the rest of the boys ended up there, Louis had almost ended up in the monkey cage and they all got kicked out, but it was still perfect. Niall's laugh was back, full and loud every time Harry pranked one of their security guards. Niall even sat through all of Liam's Disney movies and Zayn thought he was doing better. 

The rest of the boys had finally arrived and even though the nurses said they couldn't they still crammed into the room sitting around Zayn and hoping for the best. They all had tears staining their faces but the rest of the boys tried very hard to keep it together for Zayn. Liam and Harry each had a hand and Louis was leaning his head in Zayn's lap. No one understood how Niall could possibly do this, he had always been their bundle of joy, their jokester, even when they wished he wasn't, he was the one that held them all together, the reason that all their contrasting personalities didn't cause problems. They needed him. 

They were all pulled from their thought when the doctor came over to them with a grim look. "I'm sorry boys but there is nothing more I can do, you might want to say your goodbyes, I don't know how much longer he will last." 

"No, no," Zayn quickly scrambled to his feet grabbing Niall's hand and staring at the slowly beeping heart monitor, "You have to save him, he's still alive, save him!" Zayn was yelling at the man getting angrier as the man just returned his gaze with pity. Zayn broke down, all the boys had seen him cry but this was different, he was fighting for breathe as he sobbed into Niall's chest. He looked as if his heart was being physically ripped from his chest and Zayn felt like that was exactly what was happening. 

Each of the boys took their turn saying goodbye. Louis just whispered it before running from the room and Harry squeezed Niall's hand before running after him. Liam kissed his forehead and put his hand on Zayn's shoulder. "We'll be right outside, come get us when your ready." and with that he too left Zayn alone with Niall's silent form. 

"Why?" Zayn whispered afraid of disturbing the boy who only looked like he was sleeping. "I love you Niall, with all my heart. I don't think I can do this without you. I-I don't want to. I don't want to live without you here. Niall I need you so much. More than you'll ever know. Please don't leave me here without you. You are my best friend and the love of my life. I am so sorry you felt like this was the only option. I don't know what I could have done, maybe I should have told you how perfect you are more or told you how much I love you nonstop. Would that have helped? Would you still be with me if I tried harder? Is it my fault? Niall please! Niall I love you, please, please stay with me." The sobs broke through his words and Zayn could no longer speak. He sat there in silence with the slow beep of the monitor being the only indication Niall was still there. After what felt like hours he was finally ready to get the boys knowing they would want to be there. 

Opening the door the boys just nodded and filed into the room. They sat in silence as they waited, Zayn thought about how horrible they were, just waiting for Niall to die and felt a strange resentment for the boys. He already hated himself for letting Niall get away but he hadn't expected to hate them as well. It made since though, it was all their faults, if anyone of them had done it differently maybe, just maybe Niall would still be there. With that final thought he heard the long beep that meant Niall was gone. The flat line was daunting and Zayn quickly got up placing a kiss to Niall's still warm lips and leaving the room as the doctor walked in to call a time of death. 

******************* ************************ *****************************

One long, lonely year later

Zayn was kneeling by himself in front of Niall's grave. He expected the boys would show up at some point but he honestly had no idea. He hadn't seen them in months and hadn't talked since he lost Niall so phone calls weren't really an option. He got the occasional text but really only replied to show the boys he was still alive. He had quit the band the day after it happened and soon wouldn't even leave the house except to buy daises and visit Niall. 

Zayn sat there all day, crying and waiting, he just didn't want to feel alone anymore. 

The other boys came in the afternoon hugging Zayn and laying down flowers but none of them stayed for long. They all had families and lives that they had to get back to. Zayn just sat there, alone. He stayed until it got dark. His life, his family there in the ground. 

Before he left he whispered in a voice rough from not being used, "I believe you this time, never again. This time you meant it." With that he walked back home tears streaming down his face as he planed on what color the daises would be tomorrow.


End file.
